Dear Sally, I’m on my way to meet my Greek god. I’ve done my Brazilian, the panties are ironed and packed, I bought Britney’s new perfume at dutyfree and I’m in transit in Dubai waiting for my connecting flight to Athens but I’ve received a text from him and it says: KOUKLA (that means doll), THIS GREECE’S DARKEST HOUR FOR A WHILE, I AM CAMP WITH OTHER GREEKS IN THE PROTEST. HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT SHARING TENT? KOSTA.
This is not what I had in mind. I had to ditch my Libyan freedom fighter for Kosta. Ali was the coolest thing since the shaggy UN aid worker I hooked up with in Gaza. I was expecting Paradise Beach on Mykonos, and now Kostas has confessed that he’s batting for the other side and he wants me to share basic outdoor accommodation. Does the protest have showers? I’m very confused. Please message me asap and tell me what to do! My flight to Athens leaves in an hour. Meanwhile there’s a nice man in a dishdasha and a white headdress giving me the eye. OMG, there are quite a few of them. Lizzie Overington.
You certainly are in a transit crisis. So many men and so little time. I have to say that a man fired up for what he believes in can be a ferocious Aphrodesiac (the Greek god of lust) and I wouldn’t consider the dark swarthy man in the white headdress too hastily. You don’t know how many wives he has already.
What’s this “done my Brazilian” thing? You need to clarify. Have you done a Brazilian or had all your pubic hair removed? If there are no facilities at the protest in Athens then just as well your underwear has been pre-ironed. And I wouldn’t take the gay thing too seriously, I think he’s just got so excited at your impending arrival something got lost in translation.
Tweet me when you get to Athens, and let me know if he has a single friend. I’ve been known to camp it up in my time and all this talk of hot men in hot climates is making me quite tense. Since you’re in dutyfree would you mind picking up a 100ml bottle of Chanel for me? Thanks, darl.If I decide to hop on a plane and come over to join the protest, I don’t mind waving a placard but I want to be at my best.
Graciously yours, Sally.
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